Office gift-giving can be a minefield. You think shopping for your mother-in-law is hard? Try coming up with a Secret Santa gift that doesn’t require you to explain your sense of humor to the human resources department.
In fact, giving gifts in the workplace can be so tricky that many companies set policies banning the practice, says Peggy Post, etiquette expert and co-director of the Emily Post Institute, which teaches social graces.
“Some businesses don’t have any guidelines or policies,” Post says. “Then it boils down to what the office culture is.”
If your office is among those that embrace gift-giving, we’ve culled some tips that’ll keep you on your colleagues’ right side.
• Ask around. New to the office? The International Association of Administrative Professionals advises polling your co-workers to get a sense of whether gift exchanges are expected — or even welcome. Forbes magazine reminds would-be Santas their co-workers may be on a tight budget or may not celebrate holidays. And giving no gift is probably preferable to giving a cheap one.
• Steer clear of personal gifts. The list of don’ts is much longer than the list of do’s, but for starters, no perfume, flowers, jewelry, lingerie or lotion. The International Association of Administrative Professionals says to watch out for gifts that seem to suggest your colleague needs help with his or her appearance. Never give alcohol unless you are certain your co-worker drinks. Even books and music can be too intimate if, say, the book is a collection of love poems or the music is sentimental.
• Push a potluck or dessert spread. Designate one day for an office potluck and rally your office mates to bring in food to share in lieu of exchanging gifts. Ask someone to bring in one vegan item and someone to bring in one gluten-free item in recognition of different dietary needs. Whereas gifts can be divisive, a little light chatter over food can brighten up the office and make everyone feel more connected.
• Be discreet. Many of us spend so many hours at work that we develop genuine friendships with co-workers. If you want to exchange gifts with one or two office pals, do so outside of work, Post recommends. “Sometimes co-workers like to go together and have a holiday lunch or drink and give gifts then,” she says.
• Give gifts down the chain, not up it. “A subordinate in general doesn’t give their boss a gift unless they’ve been working together a really long time or they have a friendship,” Post explains. “Just to all of a sudden give your boss a gift could seem like you’re trying to win favor. It’s not a good thing to do.”
• Beware the group gift. Post suggests employees go in on a present for the manager, but Forbes warns workers to avoid soliciting donations, as co-workers may fret over the negative career consequences of not pitching in.
• Try a card. Pick out a blank card and craft a thoughtful message thanking your boss for his or her leadership and mentorship over the year. “I don’t think that’s trying to butter them up too much,” Post says. “It’s always nice to show appreciation.”
• Be consistent. If you’re the boss, you’ll want to take care to give employees roughly the same gift. Otherwise, some may feel slighted.
• Avoid gift cards. First, nothing says “I really respect you,” quite like a gift card you picked up in the checkout line at the grocery store. If the amount on the card is tiny, that could be seen as cheap. And why give something that requires the recipient go shopping?
• Still feeling generous? Think useful or edible. A fruit basket, pound of coffee, lunch box, picture frame, classy pen, leather planner or business card case all fit the bill, Post suggests.